[Kochikame 30th anniversary in JUMP. This episode is part of the JUMP special promotion.]
[Note: Kochikame is a manga/anime whose main character sports a large unibrow.]
[Mayuzom appear in Edo?! What's the RYO-II virus?!]
[Akimoto Sensei, this is a belated happy 30th anniversary.]
["The Manga Writer Becomes a Pro, After Doing a Stock of Manuscripts"]
The strange incident started in Kabukicho, where desire churns...
There's a snack house on the outskirts of the downtown area...
And the person who works there...
Hey, Catherine...
Your eyebrows are on their way to becoming a unibrow. Take care of it.
Huh? Seriously?
...It all started with one hostess.
I'll shave them. Excuse me.
Don't expose us to something disgusting so early in the morning. Die, you.
You die.
You die more.
She's definitely the type who gets a white film around her mouth after drinking milk.
Ah, I know what you mean. A person who doesn't care if she has a milk mustache.
An attractive woman is born with a different type of pores.
If you have hair growing between your eyebrows, you can't even be considered a woman.
This is Announcer Ketsuno reporting from the site of an accident in the center of Kabukicho.
[Kabukicho - Flipped Over Truck Accident]
The only place you can live is in Kameari.
[Note: Kameari is an old downtown area of Tokyo where Ryotsu, the main character of the Kochikame anime, works at. Ryotsu has a large unibrow.]
Gin-chan, your nose hair is showing.
There's nowhere for you to live in Snotnose Kingdom.
Police are investigating whether it is a simple accident or if a crime was committed.
Uh-oh, I wonder if this accident is in our neighborhood.
Oh, it looks really bad.
Ah? What are you doing, Catherine?
What's the matter? Did you get too excited and shave off both your eyebrows?
Your eyebrows! Didn't you just go to shave your eyebrows?!
That bridge... You've got the bridge of glory!
Whoa!
Isn't she overdoing it a bit?!
What are you doing?!
Leave her alone.
She probably got all stressed out from that old hag's daily harassment.
It's better to let it all out, little by little, rather than bottle it up inside.
But it doesn't look like "little by little."
Otose-san, are you all right?
O-Old hag... You...
Gin-san! Wh-Wh-What was that?! Their eyebrows! Their eyebrows!
Their eyebrows turned into unibrows and they went berserk!
I have no idea! Don't ask me!
Ah! There's a taxi!
Excuse me! Please let us in! Excuse me!
We're being pursued by freaks with strange eyebrows! Please open! Plea...
Oh yeah!
Tsk. What the hell is going on?!
Emergency alert! Emergency alert! This is for all residents of Kabukicho.
From this point on, leaving your home or Kabukicho is prohibited.
Anyone out in the open, please immediately go inside the nearest building.
Please do not approach anyone with a unibrow.
They're very dangerous.
Anyone whose eyebrows are about to merge: Please shave immediately. Repeat...
Who are these people whose eyebrows have become unibrows?
Isn't that a riot?
It looks like they're increasing at a furious pace.
It's said to be a strange disease and once infected...
It's under investigation.
We heard that Kabukicho will be placed under martial law and completely sealed off.
It's under investigation.
That means...you've practically given up on the residents?
It's under investigation.
This year marks the 30th anniversary of Kochikame.
Is the anniversary related to this case?
It's the 31st anniversary.
LaSalle...
[Note: LaSalle Ishii is the voice actor for the unibrowed character, Ryotsu, of the Kochikame anime.]
No. Everyone has unibrows here, too.
Tsk. Oh, well... This way.
Put your hands behind your back and show me your eyebrows.
Katsura-san.
Oh, it's you guys...
Hang on, Katsura-san.
It looks like your eyebrows haven't fused together yet.
Let me tell you that it's useless to go in that direction.
Nothing awaits you beyond there but hell.
I barely broke through, but ended up like this.
Katsura-san, your flashback doesn't look right.
Any way I look at it, it appears you fell down and hurt yourself.
Throwing out the trash while wearing sandals was a mistake. Damn!
What do you mean "Damn"?
You got those wounds just from throwing out the trash? Isn't that from your attackers?!
Kitchen garbage smells really disgusting, so... Damn.
Zura, it's about time you threw out your head, too.
Zura, who are they anyway?
I'm not Zura, I'm Katsura. I don't know, either.
All I know is, people whose eyebrows turn into unibrows lose all self-control,
form mobs, and attack people.
And anyone caught by them grows a unibrow and goes berserk too.
Their high infection rates have increased their numbers in a frighteningly short time.
It's like Western zombies...
Eyebrow zombies... How about we name them Mayuzom?
Shut up.
Scum.
They're not scum. They're Mayuzom.
It looks like we're the only sane ones left in Kabukicho.
Is there any way to survive, Kasura?
[Note: Kasura is word play for Katsura and Kasu means scum.]
They're not Kasura. They're Mayuzom!
Damn it! The Mayuzom found us...
A-hem.
Why are you smiling?! You piss me off!
Gintoki! I'll never forget it! You said it!
You said "Mayuzom"! Now we can call them "Mayuzom"!
No way! I won't let things go the way you want!
This is not the time to argue about that! We're surrounded!
Hey, over here.
We're saved.
Thank you so much. You saved our necks.
No problem.
Hasegawa-san!
That's great! There're other survivors besides us!
I live in this pachinko parlor for my part-time job.
I was just able to escape any danger by hiding.
Hase...gawa-san.
But I was badly wounded by them.
I'll be a hindrance to you guys. Hurry up and get out of here.
I guess I'm on the brink of geezerhood.
I was done in by those guys.
Hasegawa, you'll die.
Who is that?!
That has absolutely nothing to do with the current situation!
He's the store manager. I overslept, so I was scolded.
What kind of store manager is that?
What's with those guys in the background?!
Damn it! If I hadn't been wearing sandals, I could've run faster...
Enough with the sandals!
You guys aren't even related to the Mayuzom and yet you're close to dying!
He just said "Mayuzom."
A-hem.
Don't smile! You're so annoying!
They've pretty much overrun most of the town.
Even if we keep hiding here, we're just waiting for our eyebrows to change.
Let's move forward instead of just sitting here.
We can consider moving forward, but I wonder where "forward" is?
Sachan-san! You survived, too?!
Look over there.
Ah, that is...!
A crowd of Mayuzom is heading towards us!
That's bad!
As things are, we won't be able to take a single step out of the pachinko parlor!
But why does it look as if they're being drawn into the pachinko parlor?!
Because the parlor has new machines today.
New machines?! No kidding?
You're saying that's the reason why Mayuzom came here? I thought that only works for old men.
That's right! They are old men.
And they gather at other places, too.
Like gambling halls and horse racetracks and they get crew cuts at the barbershop.
Those are the places commonly favored by old men.
The moment their eyebrows merged together, they became old men.
Because of RYO-II!
RYO-II?! RYO-II! You said RYO-II?!
No way! RYO-II! Why?!
Eh? Really RYO-II?! Are you sure it's RYO-II?!
How many times are you going to say that?!
I infiltrated Kabukicho,
which has become an isolated island under martial law ordered by Lord Matsudaira.
But I never thought RYO-II would be involved.
I thought RYO-II wasn't related to this. There's no way RYO-II was...
That's enough. It's too much.
You're drawing it out too much. What's RYO-II?
RYO-II is...
...a hellish biological weapon used by the Marukome tribe during the Anderance Wars.
[Note: Marukome is the name of a Japanese miso soup paste producer whose logo is a small boy with a bald head. Anderance is a wig company equivalent to a Men's hair club in Japan.]
Their enemies on Shojo Planet looked like monkeys, so taking that into consideration,
a virus was created for use as a rough-and-tumble battle weapon.
That means it was a virus developed to affect people with thick hair.
The infected grow unibrows.
Whether they are women or children, there's no exception... Everyone...
...will become a completely useless old man. It's a hellish weapon.
They will become greedy moneygrubbers, always slacking off at work.
And even if they look like dynamic men, they're actually insensitive maniacs.
It's really disgusting... They'll become like that old man!
That is... I think you're obviously referring to a specific person.
Moreover, the virus was designed to only affect people with thick hair,
but only after direct contact with an infected subject.
Even those who aren't hairy can become infected.
Soon, it won't be just Kabukicho... All of Edo...
No, the entire Earth will be filled with useless old men. If that happens...
Earth...will end!
Shinpachi, can you get a box?
Okay.
Hey... Everybody...
I just mentioned that Earth might die out!
What kind of response is that?!
Well, you're talking about useless old men, but...
Right... The tension is...
What part of a useless man is bad?
Tell me and I'll correct it, one part at a time!
It's not just Earth; I'll be affected, too!
All your loved ones will become old men!
Gin-san, can you endure that?!
Oh, it's working!
Wow, I can see how well the new machine works.
It's terrible, terrible. At that time...
Was the love we exchanged for each other just a lie?!
I love you...to death.
[Note: From 101th Propose, a TV series from the 90s.]
Who's that man anyway?! The store manager?!
Is that the same manager I saw before?!
Sandals, right? I knew you were still angry about the sandals!
I don't care about your sandals!
I told you to put on your glasses when you meet people!
Ah, you guys are so noisy!
There's no way the Earth will die out because of something like that.
This is just like a passing cold.
Everyone will get their stylish eyebrows back tomorrow.
Fortunately, this place has special glass doors, so they won't be able to get in.
So, until someone comes to rescue us, let's hide out in here.
There's food used for pachinko gifts...
I'm pregnant.
The food's all gone.
D-Don't worry.
We'll be okay if we don't eat anything for a day.
Ah, I have chocolate. Does anybody want some?
Well, eat it, but just a little. Don't get that serious.
It's not like the devil is coming-
The devil...is here...
This is Announcer Ketsuno reporting.
[Kabukicho First Street]
I'm in front of Kabukicho, where a mysterious virus is spreading.
As you can see,
all the roads into Kabukicho have been blocked by martial law.
What exactly might the situation be in town?
If you become infected, your eyebrows turn into a unibrow and you go berserk.
It has not been confirmed, but according to our sources,
all residents of the town have already become infected.
We're worried about the safety of all residents.
What will happen to Edo?!
This is the truck that was involved in that accident in Kabukicho this morning.
The virus was detected in the packages.
And the driver and other crewmembers are missing.
[Happy 30th Anniversary, Kochikame.]
A note seeming to claim responsibility was found in the truck.
It most likely was the work of an Anti-Foreigner Faction samurai.
Kochikame's 30th anniversary? Are you kidding me?!
It's the 31st anniversary.
Do you understand the time lag between a serialized manga in JUMP and the resulting anime?
Look to the future and the past.
But Matsudaira-sama... Um...
Please ensure that you're properly protected.
It's not a cold, so you can't repel the virus wearing just that.
Idiot!! You think wearing that kind of equipment protects you from the virus?!
Don't underestimate the virus!
I'm sorry!
Listen up!
When you get home, don't forget to gargle and wash your hands!
Don't underestimate the virus!
No... No way...
My sis...
My sister's eyebrows!
Sis! How could this happen before you get married?!
Come on! It's me! Me!
It's useless, Shinpachi-kun. Give it up!
She's completely infected by the RYO-II virus.
Your sister is no longer your sister, but an old man.
And look at that cup-sake and cheese-kama.
[Note: Cup-sake is sake sold in a cup. Cheese-kama is a stick snack made of cheese and fish paste.]
She has already been set up as the "big old man" by the other old men.
Not good... She's issuing instructions!
Those guys! Do they have that kind of intelligence?!
Sign? Is that a sign? Have a drink? How does that sound?
What kind of instructions are those?!
Even her instructions sound like they're coming from an old man! Sis!
LaSalle!
Not good...they're coming!
Whoa!
Over here! Hurry, this way!
This place is no longer safe!
The roof! Let's go up to the roof and wait for rescue!
This strong door should hold out for a while.
Huh?!
The strongest! The strongest Mayuzom has been established!
Here comes the elevator! Hurry, get over here!
We're saved.
Is everyone all right? Is everyone here?
One, two, three, four, five, six...
Yeah, we're all right.
No, wait a minute. Six people?
Can you count again?
What? It's all right.
Me...
You...
Kagura...
Zura...
Sachan...
Hasegawa-san.
See, six people.
Hold on!
Ha-Hasegawa-san...
These are...
...his sunglasses!
That's right. Hasegawa-san has a pair of sunglasses.
That's not what I meant.
I said that only Hasegawa-san's sunglasses are left!
That's right. Madao only have sunglasses.
We must have left him on the first floor!
That's not good! We should hurry and go down and save him!
No way. If we go back now, we'll just become their prey.
I don't want eyebrows like that.
Think about it carefully. This is...really... Hasegawa-san, right?
In every single aspect, it's a pair of dirty sunglasses!
No, no. Don't refuse to face reality. Think about it carefully.
Between this thing and the goateed guy left on the first floor... Really...
Which is the real Hasegawa-san?
You're the one who needs to face reality!
The thing on the first floor is just a sunglasses stand.
What's a sunglasses stand?!
It's a rod used for holding sunglasses.
That thing? You can use a hook!
It's the hook with a goatee.
The real one is here.
Right, Madao?
Yes, Leader!
You, shut up! You piss me off!
Shinpachi-kun,
since early times, questions have been raised about where the human heart is.
Is the human heart in the chest? Or in the brain?
I don't think either is right... It's definitely in the sunglasses-
Don't you guys have any heart?!
We were saved by Hasegawa-san!
That's it! I'm not going to ask someone who has no heart like you anymore!
Let me off on the first floor.
Huh? The third floor? Hey! I said let me off on the first floor.
I don't know. I just pushed the button for the roof.
Then why did it stop?
You know, there's someone waiting for the elevator on the third floor.
Eh...
Don't let it open! Close it! They'll get in.
You bastard! What are you doing here?!
Don't frighten us like that! I'll kill you!
Elizabeth!
I wondered why I couldn't find you, but you were here. Are you all right?!
Huh?
Hasegawa-san!
Don't tell me you saved Hasegawa-san...
Great job, Elizabeth!
Awesome! That's awesome, Elizabeth-san!
What's with this guy? Why is he so blank-faced all the time?!
But how were you able to get through that Mayuzom mob?
Ah! I got it! Eyebrows!
When I think about it, Elizabeth has no eyebrows!
I see! If you have no eyebrows, there's no way they can merge together.
That is, Elizabeth has no fear of becoming a Mayuzom.
It's so encouraging! It's like we have an invincible fleet!
I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth! From now on, you'll lead the van!
[Don't slow me down, Katsura-san.] [Note: "n" looks like a unibrow.]
You've got a big mouth.
Huh? You made a mistake writing the "n."
What a troublesome guy. I'll teach you how to read and write again sometime soon.
[Don't slow me down, Katsura-san.]
Gin-san.
Don't say anything. Don't let his death be in vain.
We'll do whatever we need to survive.
Well, that's not what I mean, Hasegawa-san...
Elizabeth bringing him here means...
Just as I thought! Hasegawa-san was infected!
Everyone!
Shave off his unibrow. That's the only way to beat Mayuzom!
Hey, what about you?
Well...Sorry, but my hand was just... I'm sorry, Hasegawa-san.
What are you doing?!
You're holding back because you know him. That's why your aim was off!
You should go all out!
You're going too far! You took off too much. Where are you aiming?!
Hasegawa-san! What should we do about that?!
Even if he returns to normal, he won't be able to go out in public!
What are you guys doing?!
If it takes more than one blow, Hasegawa-san will suffer! I'll do it!
Wh-Why?! Why me?! What the hell are you doing?!
I'm sorry, my glasses...
[ROOF]
Will this be all right? It'll be back to normal by next week, right?
I don't know; it depends on our anime staff.
Damn! They're coming from the front, too!
Defend it at all costs!
Defend this door at all costs!
That's...!
Sachan, great job! Leave the rest to me!
Lord Matsudaira?! It's Lord Matsudaira!
There's nothing to worry about. I brought enough food.
Do we look like we need food? Assess the situation, old man!
This should last you a week.
Hey! Thanks to your stupidity, the food splattered!
Because you looked into the virus, we were able to prepare a vaccine to combat it.
It's the only vaccine that can counter the RYO-II virus.
B-super5963!!
[Note: B-super5963 is a word play meaning "Thank you, Bucho."]
[Note: In Kochikame, Bucho (the Division Head) is always calling Ryotsu a "Bakamon" (Idiot).]
Everything will be resolved when I use this Bakamon cannon
[Note: In Kochikame, Bucho (the Division Head) is always calling Ryotsu a "Bakamon" (Idiot).] [BA KA MON]
to spread the vaccine into the sky above Kabukicho!
Those useless old men will all be purged.
Huh?
Matsudaira-sama, what's the matter?
Matsudaira-sama...
Matsudaira-sama!
That's why I told you to put your mask on!
LaSalle!
As my consciousness fades away amongst the heavy odor of old men...
I see it.
Yes. When I think about it, that guy...
They will become greedy moneygrubbers, always slacking off at work.
And even if they look like dynamic men, they're actually insensitive maniacs.
It's really disgusting... They'll become like that old man!
...meets all the requirements.
While his friends had fallen and changed, that man was standing.
Despite the fact that the enemy was closing in, that man was still standing.
Probably the only one left standing in Kabukicho...
BAKAMON!!
Because...
He was already a useless old man.
On that day, there was a dirty fireworks display in the sky over Kabukicho.
[Kochikame, Banzai]
Banzai to a useless old man.
A useless old man who is sometimes useful.
It's sad... It's so sad that tears are streaming from my eyes.
[Preview]
Well, the next Kochikame special is, Ryo-san's...
Hey, wait! What are you doing?! This is GinTama!
Come on, it's all right, just a little bit...!
The next episode... "Don't Complain About Your Job At Home, Do It Somewhere Else."
Thank you.
[After overcoming all kinds of troubles, the second year goes by without a hitch.]
[Or so it seemed, but for the GinTama anime, a new problem must be tackled!]
Kameari Defense Corps.